#13 Barbie, femininity and existing as a woman.
Come navigate some complex topics with these writers
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There were so many articles on the movie Barbie this week! I could have easily filled an entire edition with them. I chose to bring only one of those, a particular perspective that delved into the challenges faced by women and the significance of reclaiming femininity that is not tied to beauty standards or consumerism. To go with that, I included pieces by remarkable women who shared their thoughts on dealing with their bodies, sexuality, children, work, and identity. Enjoy!
The Impossibility of Womanhood
Barbie, Sontag, and recovering femininity
In the most sympathetic interpretation, Barbie does just this, offering a celebration of femininity ostensibly removed from its patriarchal trappings. Barbieland is coated in pink and pastels while nonetheless presented as a matriarchal utopia. The Barbies are fitted in high fashion with permanent smiles on their faces, but also accept their Nobel prizes without the mandatory apologies and forced humility that so often follow women’s accolades. They don the drag of womanhood while lacking the reproductive function and subservience to male authority that, in patriarchal society, defines womanhood.
Coming to Terms With My Belly
Hawaii here I come!
This started out as a very quick update for the newsletter as a way to procrastinate packing for my trip but it ended up as a very vulnerable post. Whoops! That tends to happen a lot here.
How Travel Helped My Post-Partum Anxiety
Every single damn time......
There are more logistics involved in just getting out of the house in the morning than managing all the inventory in an Amazon warehouse on Prime Day. But stumbling through it every morning, failing and then figuring things out has made me a much more confident mom of three. It’s also helped tamp down my remaining post-partum anxiety. We are at the end of the trip and I realized I no longer wake up with that gnawing tightening dread that settles in my stomach or the front of my throat in the morning when I’m not feeling great.
Why you should Never Fake an Orgasm & should Always let your BF Cry
I remember trying to play soccer with the boys in elementary school. I felt like I couldn’t try too hard. I don’t even know where I picked up that notion. And maybe if I had seriously done a team sport, one that focused on physical strength and a clear, measurable goal, instead of ballet, which lends itself to a teenage-girl-lord-of-the-flies flavor of psychosis and emphasis on aesthetics as the goal, then perhaps I could have seen myself as something other than meek. Perhaps I could have been unabashed. Maybe even shameless.
Compare, Compare, Despair
The hidden treasure in ugly envy
I’d seen a sweet Note praising a popular Substack writer’s work, and I hopped over to have another look at this writer’s welcome piece. It was beautifully illustrated and she sounded warm, human and welcoming. Her paid subscription offer was clearly articulated and she was offering lots of good things. It had 285 likes.
The voices began. ‘You’ll never get that many likes’. ‘You’ll never write as well as her.’ ‘You might as well give up and focus on your therapy practice and running the temple.’ One voice in particular sounded very young: ‘She’s got what I want, and I WANT IT!’
Being Othered by Others
Question: If a child cannot speak their mother tongue, who's to blame? The mother, or the tongue?
I’ve always felt that my grandmother was the most Nigerian thing about me. Not only did she appoint me with my ethnic name, but she’s the one that used to annually visit our family home with luggage smelling of dried cray-fish, blue plastic bags heavy-laden with Tom-Toms, and glass bottles filled to the brim with groundnuts. She was my home away from home. I attached myself to her roots like an aphid, biting away at any and all culture and tradition she could give me.
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Oh wow! Being included in this post with all these other amazingly talented writers really warms my heart 🥺! Seriously... thank you for what you’re doing with this newsletter. I’m going to run and subscribe to them all.
Thank you so much for thoughtfully curating this collection of posts for us all - a few new subscriptions from this week's selection for me - thank you!