#12 Go rest, it's summer
We only have one life to live, take some time off and stop to notice
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Strangely enough, this week, the texts that organically entered my orbit all shared a common thread. They are about being present, noticing the world and people around us, and taking your time. Death serves as a reminder of what is important. Currently, attention is one of the most sought-after commodities. Attention is the most valuable resource we have because it is how we choose to use our time. Contrary to the saying, time is not money; it's far more important. The only resource we always run out of.
Listen to your body when it whispers...
...so you don't have to when it screams
When things were at a peak of unrest, I finally allowed myself to listen. Instead of constantly rebelling against my body and mind, refusing to succumb, and fighting my limitations with increasing futility, I began to accept, and make the changes to let myself live well, and with self-kindness. It took some big decisions, and I am eternally grateful for the unwavering support of my family in selling our house to enable me to change from air traffic controller to author, from breadwinner to (near) zero-earner, from sick to much more well...yet those days still come.
GET LOST ALONG WITH ME
The best is yet to be
Last week, in this spirit of being simultaneously inside myself and out of it, I took to the streets. Does that sound revolutionary? Well for me it was. ‘Stay out of your head,’ I chided myself in advance. ‘Pretend this is the party you would never go to as a boy.’ And lo, as though by miracle, as I crossed from Mortimer Street into Great Portland Street the life I had come in search of, came in search of me - a very small woman, dressed in a miniature leather jacket and flimsy polka-dot shorts, pushing a very big pram.
Dinner Music: The weekly lineup
lebanese disco, synth-ladden experimental afro-beat, singular UK jazz
This week is all about co-existing and intermingling. We begin with afro-disco group Pigeon, whose sound layers sequencers, synths, rollicking drums, heavy guitar riffs and Highlife-esque vocals to build something that is at once funk, cosmic, afro and electro.
Reawakening to the Freedom of Limits
Digital Detox round-up, drawing the line, and marriage
Waiting at London Gatwick for my connecting flight to Basel, I look at the row of people across from me. There are ten; seven have their phones out, the other three are elderly, one of them is reading a book. In the row behind me there are eight; seven have a phone in their hand, the eighth is eating a wrap. The row across from them has eight people, seven are tapping a phone, the eighth is reading chapter five of a book in German. The pattern repeats, row after row, across the expanse of the lounge, restaurants, line-ups. There is no limit to the compulsive orgie of images, texts, and videos. It strikes me as intuitively destructive not to have limits. Ask any parent what happens to a child without limits. It is not pretty.
This is my church
this is where I heal my hurts
My personal relationship with faith, religion, even God, has been an eclectic one. I have spent time in that churchyard as a child, unable to conceptualise Death or God. I have spent time there as a devout atheist, as an agnostic, and as someone desperately searching for something that felt like truth. Growing up, my exposure to religion consisted only of mandatory church attendance at school; its mandatory nature ensuring my rejection of it—though I always held a secret envy of those who ‘believed’. I wished I could pray. I wished I believed that my mother was, at least partly, somewhere other than in a box in the ground.
Almost No One Makes It Out
We Get No Second Chance In This Life
Ten years ago, in March 2013, an old friend of mine drank himself to death. He didn’t even make it to 40. We went to college together, worked in the local coffee shop, lived in the same house for a spell. He was from the area, which oddly made him somewhat of an outsider, too much familiarity with actual reality for this liberal arts college. I also had no knack for escape, so we understood each other.
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I recently discovered Death & Birds too and loved diving into the first couple of posts. SO good!
Luiza, thank you so much! It means a lot to be included amongst such amazing work - how did I miss that Howard Jacobson had joined us?! That’s so exciting... Thank you again.